Identifying Narcissistic Abuse in a Relationship

No relationship is perfect. They are a delicate balance of hard work, sacrifice, communication, trust, and honesty. It takes effort from both partners to make things work.

When most people hear the word abuse, the first thing that comes to their mind is physical abuse. Abuse can also come in the form of emotional and verbal abuse. Narcissistic combines emotional and verbal abuse.

If someone is a narcissist, it doesn't mean they are a bad person. It is just a sign that their behavior is problematic. Learning how to spot signs of narcissistic abuse isn't as straightforward as it seems. Here are some tips for identifying it in a relationship.

How To Spot Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

Recognizing Manipulative Behavior

Narcissists often employ manipulation as a tool for control. If you find yourself frequently doubting your perceptions, feeling confused, or questioning your own sanity, these may be signs of manipulative behavior. Trust your instincts and pay attention to consistent patterns of manipulation.

Excessive Need for Validation

While seeking validation is a normal human desire, a narcissist takes it to another level. They may have an insatiable need for admiration and praise, and when this isn't met, they can become hostile or dismissive. If your partner's self-worth seems solely dependent on external validation, it's a potential red flag.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Narcissists, however, struggle to empathize with others. You might notice that your partner consistently dismisses or belittles your feelings, shows a lack of concern for your well-being, and fails to understand your perspective. At the end of the day, a narcissist really only cares for and watches out for one person mainly - themselves.

Constant Criticism

Constructive feedback is essential for growth, but constant criticism designed to belittle or control is a warning sign. Narcissists may use criticism as a means of maintaining superiority and control over their partners. If you find yourself frequently walking on eggshells to avoid criticism, it's time to take a closer look at the dynamics in your relationship.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to make someone doubt their own reality. If your partner consistently denies their actions, twists the truth, or makes you feel like you're imagining things, it could be a sign of gaslighting. Trust your memory and seek support from friends or professionals if you find yourself questioning your sanity.

Boundary Violations

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for boundaries. Narcissists, however, often disregard or violate these boundaries to assert control. If your partner consistently ignores your needs, pushes you to do things against your will, or disregards your personal space, it's important to reassess the health of the relationship.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining. If you find yourself on a constant rollercoaster of highs and lows, with emotional manipulation and dramatic shifts in mood, it may be a sign of narcissistic abuse. Healthy relationships provide stability and support rather than emotional turmoil.

Isolation from Supportive Networks

Narcissists may seek to isolate their partners from friends and family as a means of maintaining control. If you notice a gradual distancing from your support network or feel pressured to sever ties with loved ones, it's a potential warning sign of narcissistic abuse.

Moving Forward

If you are recognizing signs of narcissistic abuse, you might be thinking to yourself, "What now? Can we move past this?"

That's a tough one to answer. On one hand, your partner may be able to unlearn these problematic behaviors. On the other hand, that isn't exactly easy to do. Your safety and happiness need to come first; unfortunately, that often means walking away.

If you are unsure of what to do, don't hesitate to reach out to learn more about relationship counseling or couples therapy.