Couples Therapy
Has Your Passionate Connection With Your Partner Faded?
Does it seem like you’re trapped in a cycle of repeating the same arguments over and over again? Are you missing the spark and affection you had when you began dating? Do you feel lonely even when you’re with your partner?
Maybe you’ve been going through a tough transition, and your relationship hasn’t felt the same since these changes started. For example, you might have moved in together, welcomed a baby, or experienced a loss that left one of you grieving. Perhaps one partner has been unfaithful, and you’ve suffered a severe betrayal of trust. Now, you’re wondering whether it’s even possible to salvage your relationship.
You May Be Pushing Each Other Away In Your Efforts To Connect
You doubt whether your partner still loves you, and you try to get closer to them to alleviate your anxiety over these doubts—yet pursuing them seems to drive them away. For neurodiverse couples, navigating typical relationship issues can be even trickier. If one or both of you have been diagnosed with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder, you might be trying to figure out how to honor each other’s needs within your relationship without a roadmap for success.
To cope with your relationship troubles, you might be compartmentalizing your life and engaging in unrealistic fantasies. You may be turning to pornography, romance novels, or even emotional affairs with other people to soothe your loneliness.
If your own peace-keeping efforts have fallen short, working with a therapist can help you improve your communication skills so that you can address your problems in a mature fashion, overcome issues like infidelity and emotional affairs, and foster a strong, loving bond.
No Couple Is Perfect—It’s Normal To Face Challenges
Many couples feel ashamed to seek counseling because they assume that other couples aren’t dealing with the same issues. But truthfully, it’s okay not to be okay.
No one is walking around with subtitles telling the rest of the world about their private struggles, so it’s easy to assume that you and your partner are dealing with unique problems. Yet behind the scenes, lots of couples have trouble with communication, managing household responsibilities, navigating tough family situations, and more.
Neurodiverse Couples Often Lack Models For Healthy Communication
When one or both partners in a relationship has ADHD or ASD, “typical” communication strategies might not work for them. This can leave neurodiverse couples in a difficult position. Each partner might have different ways of processing conversations and coming up with solutions to common relationship problems.
We often create internal “templates” regarding how to behave in relationships from couples around us or those we grew up with. But neurodiverse couples don’t necessarily have examples for managing their symptoms together in a healthy way. Despite their best intentions, it can be challenging for both partners to communicate without hurting the other. Neurodiverse couples often need guidance through counseling to understand their unique wiring, avoid misunderstandings, and cooperate to solve problems in a way that works for both partners.
Therapy can help neurodiverse and neurotypical couples break free from harmful relationship patterns that are no longer serving you. In therapy, you’ll be able to identify the obstacles that are interfering with the emotional closeness you desire and get “unstuck” together. With time and effort from both partners, you can learn to rely on each other again.
Through Couples Therapy, You And Your Partner Can Rebuild Your Trust In Each Other
When you start counseling, you’ll be able to work through difficult conversations with your partner in a safe environment. Your therapist will help you gain clarity on problematic behavioral and conversational patterns and determine your shared purposes and intentions for the future of your relationship. By working together to heal, you’ll gradually get comfortable trusting each other.
What To Expect In Couples Therapy
Your therapist will take lots of factors into account to personalize your treatment plan, such as the specific problems you’re dealing with as a couple, what you hope to gain from therapy, and any important diagnoses for either partner, like ADHD or ASD.
In addition to discussing the problems you’re currently facing, you’ll also delve into your individual pasts to explore how your previous romantic and familial relationships influence you today. As you identify the roots of your troubles and gain the tools you need to address these issues together while maintaining your compassion, you’ll likely find yourself feeling hopeful and optimistic about your future.
Treatment Approaches For Couples Therapy
At Therapy for Clarity, we often incorporate the Gottman Method into couples therapy. I am trained and certified in this method, which helps couples let their guard down when entering verbal conflicts so that they can work through disagreements while respecting each partner’s point of view. Your therapist can also help you figure out your individual attachment styles, delve into past experiences to understand the roots of any lingering attachment issues and develop a secure bond within your relationship.
If past trauma is affecting your relationship in the present, your therapist might administer Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to one or both partners. This technique can help you release the physical tension that builds up after a traumatic experience through bilateral movement of your eyes.
You’ll also learn how to tune into your five senses to stay grounded and centered when dealing with a stressful situation together so that you don’t fall into a fight or flight reaction. Basic mindfulness exercises can calm your nervous system when you’re anxious, which deepens your intimate connection with your partner. In some cases, your therapist might even refer you to a couples’ yoga teacher!
With therapy, you’ll realize why it’s important to pay attention to the tension you feel in your romantic relationship. If you and your partner are grappling with emotional pain, it can distort your perspective on life and the future of your relationship. Working with a counselor in couples therapy is a bit like building a house. By putting in the work now, you can create a stable “relational home” that supports your shared life for years to come.
But You May Still Have Questions About Couples Therapy…
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Perhaps you feel like you and your partner have tried everything to improve your relationship, and it seems like nothing has worked. But if you had a problem with your car, you would take it to a skilled mechanic to fix the issues—and a qualified therapist can serve a similar purpose! I can “take a look under the hood,” identify which areas of your relationship have “broken down,” and determine what we should try to “repair” first.
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With over twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, I know that if both partners approach therapy with an open heart and a genuine commitment to healing, you can achieve profound changes and mutual growth. Embracing hope for your future can give you the courage to tackle tough challenges together.
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Your therapist can offer you deep compassion, as well as vital tools and knowledge to start repairing your relationship—but they won’t offer you any judgment. They will create a warm, welcoming environment where you both feel relaxed, enabling you to gather the courage to be vulnerable and honest. A safe, nonjudgmental environment is one of the most important elements for successful couples therapy.
Therapy Can Help You Create The Foundation Of A Strong Relationship
If you and your partner are struggling to move forward, you deserve help and support along your journey. We invite you to fill out our scheduling form to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about our couples therapy services, or to book your first session.
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